Expectations, I Cannot Do Without.

There is a certain expectation when I go out with someone.

Perhaps a plan of how the day or evening should play out.

Certain things that I would like for to happen throughout the outing.

And when these things don't happen, I get upset.

I am disappointed.

I get frustrated because I expected something.

More so if I waited to see you.

More so if while I'm waiting for hours on end.

More so if I'm really exhausted but I still want to see you.

And when I do, it just doesn't go according to plan.

And you want to know what the funny thing is?

It is no fault of yours at all.

It's all me.

I'm sorry I'm so messed up.

Maybe it's just best to not expect anything.

But then the question is, is that even possible?

I would think not.

How's the Weather Up There?

Has anyone ever wondered why in most couples, the female tends to be shorter than the male? Put aside the 'uncommon' couples whereby the woman is actually taller than the man.

Normally, the idea of a shorter man is a complete turnoff to most woman. Why?

You know how they say men are more visual creatures? That happens to be very very true.  Why do you think porn is such a lucrative industry?

When a man gazes down at a woman, her features appear softer and smaller and less threatening (resembling that of a child). It basically just makes them look better (think small nose, big puppy eyes looking right at you, pouty mouth). See? It makes them appear 'vulnerable' and 'fragile'. This then ignites the whole 'protective' instinct that exists in men; paternal instinct to protect the weak. You could say it's evolution's gift.

And what about women, you ask? Females aren't known to be as concerned with looks as their counterparts. But! Bear in mind that when you look up at a person, it's some sort of 'authority' as they are bigger than you so therefore you, being the smaller creature would obviously submit to them so you can stay alive. I'm obviously referring to the whole caveman-uncivilized, you get it.

So males look down (literally, this time) on female which makes them want to provide for and protect this weaker sex. Females look up at males and because of previous conditioning (think a child looking up at an adult, conditioned that the 'bigger' person is in charge. Authority and all that), she will submit to him.

And that is how you have a happy home.
Or at least, that was. In today's world? Pfftt.. Good luck.
You may be better off with a T-rex.

Concurring Thoughts.

It's been a while since I've written anything on here. I think the last post dates back about a year or two at least. So what am I doing here, you ask? I'm not too sure either. Probably procrastinating from working on my thesis or something along those lines. It's always something like that, one way or another.

I came across one of my older posts. You can check it out here. It basically speaks about a person being in a relationship and thinking the world of their significant other. But once the relationship ends, suddenly their eyes are open and they see their ex's true colors.

Fours years down the road. Here I am. And I am able to tell you without a doubt that it is entirely true. When I look back, I really do wonder if I was drunk throughout the entire relationship. But as the post said, the good part is that it is now over. And it would be wise to not allow another situation like that to take place.

I pray it doesn't. Fingers crossed this time.
I want to update. I should update. I need to update.
This is therapy.

BL : The Wheels of the Car go Round and Round.

Hello people of the world, how is your day going? Fine, I hope. Well, I couldn't sleep and thought I'd pop on here for a bit and give you all a little more reading material. Aren't I a sweety?

Being a girl in a very asian culture, I am brought up to accept that men are the superior gender and they go out and bring home the 'bacon' while women stay home and train to be the perfect homemakers. Of course this follows suit with every other stereotype about gender. For today, we shall focus on being a man and how it encompasses being a gentleman, paying for dates and the list continues.

I have two thoughts today. The first is if you are a guy and you drop a female home (whether in a relationship or not), do you wait for her to enter the house before you drive off?

Answer is? Definitely! The world is so dangerous today, anything can happen in that short period of time from the gate to the front door. Not only that, you ensure that she didn't forget her keys and end up being locked outside or.. Well, insert more reasons here. But you get my drift, don't you?

Now for the second question. This is where it gets interesting. In the world today, many women have independence and now drive themselves around. Sometimes, it may even be that the woman has a car and the man doesn't. In those cases, (again it is irrelevant if you're dating or not) the female would then proceed to drop the male home.

Now, what I want to know is, do you wait for him to enter his house before driving off? Would his masculinity be threatened by you, a girl, doing so? Just think about it for a bit. It's not only that you already have to drop him off when it should be the other way around but now you also have to wait for him? And what about him being a 'man' so he can take care of himself. Which also means that if a thief was to attack him, he would obviously be able to handle the situation by himself.

So, I'm at a lost. For one, I would obviously want to ensure his safety. And it's rude to drive off without waiting. But on the other hand, I don't want to offend him nor hurt his ego. Correct? Well, if anyone has other things to add or share, do let me know. I'm all ears.

Selfish Person.

A happy new year to you all! It's great to see that there are still visitors though I haven't updated in umpteenth years. But it's a new year and we shall see what new ideas spring to mind along with the days.

In anycase, have you ever had a situation where something happened and you know something happened but you refused to mention it because you were afraid of 'fighting' so much? In a sense, it's as though you're tip toe-ing around the other person to 'avoid' any possible drama? I'm sure you have. There's a higher tendency to happen between couples that have passed the one year mark. I'll probably explain why in another post. Guess you'll just have to stay tuned but for one, let's focus on the thought at that.

In my mind, as long as you don't say anything, the issue isn't there. You can both go along your lives as though nothing is the matter. Even if the white elephant is staring you right in the face, it doesn't exist because no one said anything.

But once I mention it, and even though the issue is resolved, each time something similar happens the previously solved issue will resurface. It will always be at the back of your mind. And I don't want that, because I will see and notice it. And when I see it, I will feel the guilt that this is happening only because I said something and I was being selfish.

But at the end of the day, aren't we all selfish people?

The Forbidden Fruit...

Do you recall in the garden of Eden how the serpent tempted Eve and made her eat the fruit of the tree of life? And how she made Adam do the same too?

This got me thinking about the attraction that doing something " forbidden " has towards us humans. I mean, why do we do it? We know it's wrong yet there is some carnal desire inside of us that longs to live dangerously, to deny the norm and step out of our comfort zone.

It makes me wonder if that's why there are so many incestuous relationships happening worldwide. Or maybe that's due to people just looking for a quick convenient way to find release. But then there are couples who claim that they're in love with one another, even more so than when they were with other " ordinary " people.

Is that to say that since the relationship is so dangerous that it helps to fuel the passion? I do honestly wonder about it though. Any thoughts on the subject is more than welcomed, as always :)

The Steps are Ringing.

A couple of days back, a friend of mine took all my rings which left my fingers bare and boy, did they feel naked! Which brought me to my thoughts for the evening. It's a little shallow in comparison to my usual posts but, change is good, no?

The below may be considered the " norm " but do bare in mind that not everyone adopts such customs so, just read and accept it with an open attitude. However, this does by no way mean I believe in the below either. I'm just saying.. ( yes, I know. Rachel's ALWAYS just saying.. )

There are typically three steps to getting married. Three steps in terms of rings, I mean.

1. The Promise Ring.

I don't know how many of you have yet to hear about such a thing as the promise ring. Perhaps you would know it better if I referred to it as a " friendship ring " meaning there is no promise to marry. Of course this friendship rings turns into a promise ring when, obviously, there is a promise to marry. To put it simple, it is a pre-engagement ring - There is a chance of a future together. This is typically worn on the ring finger ( Fourth finger - Between the pinky and the middle finger ) of the left hand.

2. The Engagement Ring.

Of course everyone has heard of this and if you haven't well, maybe it's about time you crawled out from under that rock of yours. An engagement ring is a testimony to love and the commitment of the couple that is engaged to be married. A woman typically gets this after the guy proposes. This can go on to replace the promise ring. By giving an engagement ring ( normally a diamond or some other precious jewel ), the promise is sealed in " stone " ( do you get it now? Heee.. ) and is a way of telling the world that the person has made a commitment to someone else. Normally only the women wear an engagement ring but in the 21st Century that we live in, it is not uncommon for the male to wear the ring as well as to say to other women, " Hands off, he's mine!".

3. The Wedding Band.

I prefer the word wedding band as compared to wedding ring. It is worn by a couple that has been married. After the wedding, the wedding band is worn on the ring finger closes to the hand with the engagement ring above it (meaning closest to the tip of the finger). If the guy is creative, the rings may match and in certain situations, may sometimes interlock or are fused together to form one ring.

So yeah, I just thought that was interesting and it's something everyone should know. I mean, it's already common sense but if you didn't know that then well, at least you do now. I'm going to go have some ice-cream. Toodles! :)