Maybe it's because I haven't been to KL in a while.
Maybe it's because I miss talking to you.
Maybe it's because I miss you telling me things as it is.
Maybe it's because..
Because I just miss you.
And yet...
I can't find the courage within me to pick up the phone and dial you.
It's because I'm afraid that once I use up that chance, it'll be gone.
That chance is all I have. When that's used up, I won't get it anymore.
I'd be left powerless... alone. Hanging. Without any power over what might happen.
But.. if I keep that once chance, one opportunity, there might be some hope. Some chance to mend things. Make them better. Patch things up.
And yet, the odds seem to be against me.
Do you miss me as much as I miss you?
I hope so.
___________________________________________
I was talking to Adam just now on the way back from college. And he said quite a few things that, well, I hadn't thought about it that way before. Izzy probably knows who I'm talking about.
Concerning the above, I do miss a friend and I haven't spoken to him in quite a long while. I don't think of him anymore than a friend, I promise. Just enjoy his company a whole lot. That's all. And well, because of something that happened in the beginning of the year, we're not really on speaking terms. And I want that to stop. Like I said, I miss him. And I don't want us to end on such a note.
As mentioned, I'm afraid to ring him up because, what happens if he says, he doesn't want anything to do with me anymore? It would break my heart. I don't think I could deal with that. Really. I believe that. It would be my one shot at making amends. So, if I use up that chance, then I won't be able to do anything more. But if I don't, then I still have that opportunity to do so, right? Patch things up. Make things right.
Using weird gamer anology, Adam brought it into perspective.
Why would you want to keep your ammo? If you don't use it, then what's the use? You'd be killed otherwise. Even if you run out of ammo, at least you're killing more bad guys. Why save your ammo? And what're you saving your ammo for? If you don't defend yourself, you might get killed and then what? Game over. And even if you use all your bullets and lose by default, as least you gave it a shot and tried your best.
That's all that matters, right?
Also, sometimes in a game, you have to shoot something to gain something. Like shoot a big truck to gain a health pack or more ammo, so in that way, sometimes you've got to take a chance to gain something more worthwhile. Even if it may not be your ultimate desired outcome.
Just something to think about, everyone.
And I think, I will call him :)
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