Hand Me Downs No More..

Do you have an older sibling? Remember that lovely purple mini skirt they used to wear and made everyone " Oooo " and " Ahhh " over it? Well, what luck. That skirt just got shoved right into your hands. Now won't you be the centre of attention? You'd finally have your turn in the spotlight. 

But that's not the case.

The skirt is no longer what it used to be. Worn out, tattered, full or rips and tears. Are you expected to trot around in this thing? It's horrid. So broken, it should belong in a trash can. But you can't bear to throw it out. You know it's past glory. You know what potential it once had. Yet, can it ever be restored to it's former glory again?

Probably not. It's a hand me down after all. You should hate hand me downs. You deserve brand new clothes that are able to withstand the test of time. Able to make you feel good. And make you more confident instead of leaving you sheepish all the time, wondering if people are laughing at you for wearing that tattered old hand me down skirt. 

Just the same, I don't want your hand me down love. I'm better than that. I've finally realized it. So, don't waste your time repairing the skirt. In fact, just toss it out the window. You can keep your lousy skirt. I'm going out to get myself a LV fur coat with a pair of Jimmy Choo's to go along with it. 

Fudge you. 

You Can't Fight Gravity Either..

Have you ever tried forcing a nail through steel?

No? Well, it doesn't take a genius to know what's going to happen.

Does the nail make it through the steel in the end?

We all know the answer; no.

You can't make someone love you.

It's impossible.

Not even if you do everything right.

Not even if you listen to everything they say. Not just the words they speak aloud, but the unspoken ones as well.

Not even if you can spot them a mile away in a crowd just because you know that's how they move. 
Not even if you're able to pick up their scent down a random hallway.

You can't make someone love you.

Not even if you think you can have anyone you like.

Not even when you want to give them pieces of yourself.

Not even when you give them your whole entire being.  

Not even when you're there whenever they need you.

Not even when you're there whenever they don't need you too.

Not even if you'd do anything for them. 

You can't make someone love you.

Not even if you asked them to. 

Not even if you can't stop loving them. 

You can't make someone love you.

Have I made myself clear? My heart breaks. Can you heart it?

I'm depressing like that.

I Want To Fall In Love..

I want to fall in love. 

I want to fall desperately and uncontrollably in love.
I want to feel that his existence is as important as every breath I take. 
I want to feel empty when he's not with me. 
I want to feel absolutely complete when I'm with him. 
I want to be miserable when he's unhappy.
I want to be happy when his life is going good. 
I want to be co-dependent. I don't want to be alone.
I want to be loved unconditionally.
I want to love someone unconditionally.

I want to fall in love. It's such a simple statement yet, entirely selfish. However, it isn't bad to be able to admit that there is an emptiness within us that we want to fill but have no clue how.

It's odd to want to try to express the empty feelings that gnaws when you're walking down the street and see a couple kiss or a valentine's card, knowing nobody is looking for one for you. It's difficult.
 
It's an emptiness that makes you feel like you've missed out. What happened to my share of frogs that I'm supposed to kiss? My highschool years should have been filled with at least one frog, or maybe if I'm lucky, with my prince, but all I have to show is nothing. Zilch. Where was my drama? My heartbreaks? It leaves you wondering what it's like to hold someone's hand. When did I make the wrong choice? It makes you feel left out. Naive.
 
Of course being alone isn't all bad. Nobody has ever been close enough to hurt you. But then, haven't you ever wanted someone to hurt you? Just for the sake of experiencing it. It's easy to keep going, occupying your mind until you can't actually feel anything. And yet, once you slow down, everything catches up to you and hits you like a train.
  
There has to be someone out there.. right?
Prince Charming, find me soon. Find me.

Catch the Vine, Swing Across..

Have you ever wondered how you should love someone? 

Should you cherish it to the point that you might become over possessive? 

or 

Should you just leave it be and almost take it for granted?

You probably don't really get me at this point, huh.

I don't know, I've been thinking that sometimes, you might be afraid to love too much because, if you do put yourself, 100 %, into it, you might end up hurt in the end. 

Basic survival instinct No. 1. Self Preservation.

Yet, if you're never able to commit yourself entirely, you'll never fully be in a relationship. It would be half hearted and that'll hurt the relationship even more. 

I don't know but I like what this says. I think it's good. But it's so scary. 

" The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost."

Grab it now or it'll be gone forever. Yet, that blinding leap to the other side of tha ravin is so scary. What happens if you miss the vine? You'll be falling into a deep dark pit. But, the prize on the other side is, worth it?

Don't you agree? I'm going off for camp now. 

Loves, everyone. Till I'm back.

Redundant Love

You know I was out with these two people for a couple of days and I couldn't help but notice so many things. I don't know why. Normally these observations are somewhat like a footnote only, but these particular observations were like the entire document in word art.

It just wouldn't stop plaging my mind.
It wouldn't shut up.
it wouldn't leave me alone!

Okay, a tinche of drama there, but that's me.

So, these two have been having some relationship issues and stuff for the past few weeks. Going through rough patches and such. Well, the boyfriend was obviously trying to win her back again since they broke, but I guess since they were sort of " on a date " that she was giving him that opportunity to " prove himself " and what other nonsense. * sigh * FINE. it's not nonsense but it sure feels that way.

Moving on, as we all know, the economy hasn't been very good. With that said, he's merely a student and as for work, it's only part time. But yet, he still pays for everything and I mean everything. Walk into a shop, he buys this for her. Go out for dinner, he pays and whatever else she wants. Aiyoh, I don't know. I mean, if he was filthy rich and all that then that's a different matter. And the worst part is that he's been borrowing money from other people which makes it.. I don't know. It's just really bad.

It's hard, you know, to sit by the side lines as a friend who cares and watch the girl twirl the guy around her little pinky. Worst-er still, is that she knows she's got him wrapped around her little pinky. And she toes with his heart strings and then leaves him cold. it's almost torture. I don't know what to make of it.

Not only that, she uses him and oh, she USES him. Pick me up here, drop me off there. Take me here, take me there. Isn't it nice having your own personal chauffeur? What more, this driver would give her world just to see you smile. He watches out for her feelings all the time. he gets stressed out because he's afraid she might not be happy. If anything goes wrong, he blames himself.

I guess it's driving me insane. I can't bare it no longer. Had to get it out. But after reading this, and I'm not just making it sound worst, I'll telling it as it is, doesn't your heart just go out to the guy? Don't you just want to tell him to ditch the girl and be YOUR BOYFRIEND? He'd be better off without her.

But you can't. Because she has his heart. And he's 100% devoted to her. It breaks my heart. It's almost like umrequited love. She's got full authority to trample all over his heart, then nurse it back together just so she can trample all over it again and again. Sadist.

All That Was and Could Be

I miss all that was and could be,
The butterflies that creep into you when you see his smile
Or when his hand reaches across the table to hold yours,
That embrace that holds your soul together,
Your head on his shoulder, letting you know that it’ll be ok,
The thought of him that spreads a smile on your face,
The endless late night conversations that doesn’t really make sense but leaves you with this overwhelming feeling of happiness,
The way he runs his fingers through every strand of your hair and making you feel like a child again,
The way your fingers intertwine just as your brush it against his,
The way he knows just by hearing your voice that you’ve had a bad day and just need to pour your heart away,
When he listens without a word and reprehends you subtly so you won’t
get hurt,
Laughing at the pet names he comes up for you,
Being in a circle of friends and sharing a thought so secret that you share it with a flicker and a graceful smile,
The way he kisses you goodbye for the world to see, to let the world know you’re his,
The way he talks about marriage and kids not knowing that you’re crying softly on the other line,
When he watches the “The Notebook” with you and tells you that it’s going to be us in 30 years from now,
When he shows at your door with a small bouquet he got from your neighbors garden,
How he purposely and annoyingly forgets its Valentines and surprises you with a lovely candlelight dinner at the park,
How he tries to cook you dinner but you end up having a microwave meal,
The way he sings a tune by Jason Mraz at 3am at your window,pissing off your whole neighborhood cause his out of tune,
When he sits next to your brother and tries his very best to assemble his complex looking robotic toy,
The way he grabs you and slow dances to the sappiest lovely song ever written,
How he helps your mum around the kitchen in a rather awkward manner,
The way he wraps his arms around you when you’re curled in a ball on the couch watching your favorite TV show,
How he calls you after a fight and tells you how he was the biggest jerk on the planet,
The way he gets you your favorite chocolate on a Monday morning,
How he exhales softly when you walk down the staircase in your new red dress,
The way he insist on picking you up from the mall even though it’s totally out of his way,
How he takes you shopping and refuses to let you get that new hot denim skirt on the window cause it shows way too much leg or so he says,
The way he shows up at your front door soaking from head to toe from the storm outside cause you were afraid of being home alone,
How he gets you a puppy for your birthday though his allergic to dog fur,
The way he gets you to skip school and escape to the beach for a lovely picnic,
The way he trusts you when you’re doing 160 in his car down the highway,
The dark stare he gives the guy that randomly throws his arm around when his known you for 5 seconds,
This was all that was and could have been
This is my version of a fairy tale,
This is what I would love to have had and had a glimpse of….

{If only Prince charming was sold on eBay}
-Izzy-

i know i know. it's been ages since i wrote a post here. have been busy. was doing applications to go to the us and i am glad to say that i've gotten accepted into every single uni i applied to.

anyways thats besides the point. i want to talk about LDR (long distance relationships). its an issue for me now that i am going to be overseas. the parentals have unconsciously inserted the fact that they think i should be boyfriend-less before going to the states, giving an example of a friend that went to the us first, leaving his gf behind here. but she eventually joined him in the us. so, no biggie.

well. what if you had to leave the person you love behind? what will you do? thats that main question. all this time, a lot of people have said to me the LDR's are a no no, a guarenteed failure. well, here are a couple of steps that a friend of mine had penned down about how to keep LDR's going. whether it'll work or not, i guess we'll just have to wait and see.

Both party would have to put in the extra effort and be EQUALLY committed.

• make time for each other.
• talk to each other at least everyday.
• don't think pessimistically.
• don't listen to his friends or your friends (you just don't know what their intentions are)
• snail mail each other. woohoo.
• ask the 10 or 100 or 1000 questions about each other (even before, I did this with Iman)
• play truth or dare (don't be too insensitive to your partner please ...)
• I got this from a website COOK & EAT together : "My boyfriend Neil and I are an ocean apart. (He is in England, I am in Michigan, USA.) On special days, usually Friday, we'll have a date night. A day or two before we'll plan a meal (We take turns giving each other recipes.) so that we can buy ingredients. We then dress how we would if we could really be together that night and eat together. This would be good with webcams, but neither of us owns one that works so we use chatrooms that we make ourselves. (iScribble, MSN, dA chatrooms, etc.) IMVU is also a very good idea for this, because you can dress your persona to how you would look. Try it! It's cute and fun, not to mention a good way to learn about the culture they're used to or one that they admire."
• Consider the fact that living far apart gives you both a chance to grow as individuals. Some couples 'break up' to find themselves but in a long distance relationship you both have enough space to do your own things and still have a connection.
• have hope for the both of you, you've come so far as one ... don't give up your loving in vain.
• Long distance relationships are difficult, as you are emotionally attached to a person you cannot touch or comfort and this can hurt your heart and wreak havoc with your emotions. The only way to make these relationships work is if you and your partner honestly believe you will be able to survive without each other for a considerable amount of time without the need or desire to be with someone else. (if you have plans or thoughts to be with someone else, get out of the relationship fast... it'll save the heartbreak!)

i will try it when i go over. i'll let you know how it goes. till then :)

It's All About Two People

This is my first post for the year! And exactly 3 months has gone by...my gosh!..*bah*
I have to add an extra New Year resolution to update this blog more!!!

I'm hoping for exciting things this year. New adventures and new experiences.I'm just need in need of things afreash...

Anyhoos...

The other day a friend of mine was going on about how this year is bad luck for relationships. She was giving me quite a few examples of this theory she's come up with. Going on about the many couples she knew who were amazing together but somehow just dissolved away so quickly. Leaving one very broken person and one very single person who can't wait to celebrate his/her's new found freedom.

She went on and on to the pointm that she nearly got me believing in this whole thing. I mean not only from her her view, but I've seen quite a few couples myself break up this year. Maybe it has to do with the bad economics..haha

But I realized that in the end, it's not about the luck or the year. It's really up to you. To sustain and maintain a healthy relationship, it takes two people to put in effort, to have patience, to build a strong trust tower and to have loadz of communication. Ego and pride should be non-exsistent.Forgiveness should be given generously but to a certain limit. Appericiation should exist every single day and truth should be spoken at all cost. If you want it to last, you really have to work for it. Putting your heart and soul into it.

Well darlinz, I'll try my best update more!

xoxo
-Izzy-