Bestfriend Shackles.

I sit across you at the restaurant and watch you gush about that girl you're so in love with. Your eyes light up with such affection and intensity, your cheeks tainted just the slightest pink and your smile; Your smile is one of pure bliss and happiness that you've finally found that one special person you can hold close. You speak about her 24/7 but I guess it's only to be expected for smitten couples. How I wish I could have even just a fraction of that.

I'm the perfect best friend. I'm playing my role as I should. As what is expected of me. I listen, advise and understand all you're going through.

I hurt when you hurt.

I console you when you're down.

I'm there for you when you're on the verge of insanity.

I'm worried about your well being.

I want to make it all better but I know I can't. That fact alone kills me.

When the storm between the both of you have passed, I'm glad you're happy again. I really try my best to feel happy for you.. As I should.

But I feel like a fraud.

Why? Because although I play the role of the perfect best friend, at the back of my mind, there is a nagging thought that refuses to leave me be.

I want you to break up with her!

How can I pretend to tell you to keep trying, keep going and it's all going to be better?

" Don't worry, you'll overcome this bump in the road. I know you can. She's the one. Don't fret, she loves you. And you love her! Just give it some time. Only time will tell. Don't give up, she's too special to lose! "

Can you imagine how much it kills me to say such things to you? In actuality I just want to scream at the top of my lungs, " Dump her and be with me!" But I can't. Because I'm the best friend. I'm not supposed to do things like that. I should be encouraging you, uplifting you and wanting you to be happy always. Because I care for you. And love you.

So here I am again, sitting across you as you gush about her even more. Probably telling me what a wreck you've been the entire week because you had a fight but miss her so much.

And here I am, telling you to go back to her instead of ending it and.. Just picking me over her.

Because I am the best friend. Never the girlfriend.

I always wished you'd been mine.